The Girls
by TheRoseShadow21
Summary: Chitaru Namatame has recently been bereaved. Hitsugi carries secrets that are so deep she doesn't know them all herself. After bumping into each other, they try and get to know each other. It doesn't take long for them to fall in love, but will their heavy burdens allow them to have the happiness they deserve? AU story, Rated T for various reasons including some death and violence.
1. Prologue: Lucky

**And...I did something I never thought I would do-a multichapter AU romance for Akuma no Riddle. And as you may have gathered, it's Chitaru/Hitsugi based. It's mostly going to be from Chitaru's POV, but as the story goes on, there will be little bits from Hitsugi's PV too, and eventually a whole chapter or two depending on how things go. Other characters will appear, but as they are AU there will be age differences (for example). Not all others will appear, but a few do get mentions. **

**In any case, I hope you enjoy this story, and do leave me feedback. **

"Okay, Okay, not long to go…"

Chitaru Namatame, like most people, really hated paperwork, but she forced herself to complete it. It was an important part of her work, and if she didn't complete it properly, the people she counselled would be failed. Especially when they decided to move on from her to go to a counsellor or psychiatrist from a medical establishment rather than the Myojo First Police Station. Like the girl whose referral papers she was writing up now. A sweet youngster, who seemed like a fairy-tale princess with her silver hair and sweet voice, had been the victim of systematic abuse, and when she had been rescued, was an absolute wreck. Unfortunately for the girl, the sentence the dirt bags would receive depended entirely on her testimony. And so an intensive year of therapy began, with Chitaru aiming not only to make the girl stable enough to testify, but able to learn how to adjust to normal life. And she had been successful, and now the girl was moving to the other side of Myojo city with her foster mother.

Thinking of such cases made Chitaru work even harder to make sure all the administration had been done properly. However, she still hated it.

The ringing of her desk phone distracted her. Sighing, she picked it up.

"Namatame."

"Namatame, you're still in. That's good." Chitaru chuckled at the surprised voice of Lieutenant Tokaku Azuma.

"Lieutenant, please don't tell me you've never done paperwork before."

"Don't be silly."

"So, what is it, Lieutenant?"

"We might need your help, at the crime scene we're going to now."

"Okay…" This wasn't unusual for Chitaru's line of work, particularly where there were hysterical victims (or survivors) involved. Most of the Homicide/Violent Crimes department agreed that Chitaru had a calming, yet strong aura about her. The result, they said, was comforting.

"There might be children there." Azuma explained. "Detectives Inoue and Inukai will explain the rest to you when you get here."

"Oh, you won't be there?"

Chitaru could hear Azuma sigh.

"Haru has a sleepover. I can't honestly expect Tatsuya to handle five crazy seven year olds."

"Not even with Takechi's help?"

"ESPECIALLY with Otoya's help." Azuma corrected. Chitaru grinned. Nobody who encountered Azuma would ever guess she was a loving wife, and an excellent mother of one very special little girl. The stoic lieutenant seemed as unsuited for a happy family life as some of the psychopaths she'd arrested. But Chitaru knew that Azuma was the best person anyone could want in their family.

"Okay, fine. Text me the address and I'll be there as soon as possible."

"Thanks." Azuma hung up without saying goodbye, and Chitaru got up, stretching her legs as she did so. It seemed as if the rest of the paperwork would be delayed for later.

**…**

"Repeated complaints of disturbances, to which the owner has mysteriously never responded, rumours of injured individuals wandering the site, and then the gunshots and crying children of a few hours ago….it's all in those notes Hiroshi-kun made, so you can just read it, can't you?"

"Of course I can." Chitaru said to Detective Isuke Inukai, another person who defied appearances. "And I assume the place has been cleared? "

"Yes." Detective Hiroshi Inoue said. "We wouldn't place you in harm's way, Namatame-san!"

"Hey, you're supposed to be flirting with _me_!" Inukai mock-pouted, making Inoue blush. Chitaru rolled her eyes, and carried on walking.

"So, as you haven't been able to pinpoint the crying, how do you know the place is safe? " Chitaru felt this was a valid question.

"Oh, just vague and secretive police techniques." One of the crime techs said, airily as she walked past them in the sprawling mansion, causing them all to laugh, before resuming a sober expression.

"Detective Inoue!" A rookie officer whose name Chitaru couldn't place came up to them, his face a bit red. "We've found the room where the noise originated from." He pointed, and the three entered the room.

"There are two babies in there, but there doesn't seem to be anyone else." The rookie said from the doorway. Chitaru could see that much, but refrained from saying so.

"Is it OK for me to cross the room?" she asked, pointing to the babies, who were still crying.

"Go for it." The crime-scene tech said. "We finished that area anyway." Chitaru looked at Inukai for confirmation, and then went and knelt down by the babies.

They were very young, with fluffy heads of cerulean hair. Their clothes were barely adequate, and so she could see that they were girls.

"Hey, it's OK." Awkwardly, she picked up one baby and cradled her in the crook of one arm, before managing to do the same with the other one. Then, she made rocking motions while humming a song she vaguely remembered from her childhood. And gradually, the babies calmed down.

"Well." Inukai made a show of clearing her throat. "Azuma made the correct judgement, bringing you here. I can't stand little children."

Chitaru ignored her, and continued humming to the girls as she carefully stood up. She looked at their young faces, and wondered what had happened.

_Does your mama miss you? Or is she the one who left you here? I wish you were both old enough to tell me-then I could help. _

"Namatame-san? Do you want to accompany the babies to the hospital?"

"I think I will."

**…**

That night, when she got home, she went to her attic and pulled down all the baby stuff still stowed there, and then went to find a suitable room to furnish with her find. Normally, she found it lonely, having all these rooms and no-one to share them with.

All of that would soon change, if she was lucky.

**…**

"You're _adopting_ the twins? No way." Inukai went bug-eyed with shock.

When Chitaru told her co-workers her intentions over the lunch break, she didn't expect them to be surprised. She had been visiting the babies in hospital for a week now, and she would have thought her attachment to them was transparent. Apparently now.

"Why not? Nobody's been able to track their parents down? And they'd only go into care."

"But still, that's kind of out of the blue."

"Why, were you planning to adopt them, Inukai, self-confessed hater of children?"

"…"

"She's only teasing, Inukai!" Inoue said, panicked.

"I know that, Hiroshi-kun! I'm not stupid!"

"Ah, ah. I didn't mean to cause an argument. I just thought you might like to know, given that they're part of your case." Chitaru explained.

"I'm not sure what the fuss is anyway. " Azuma spoke up for the first time since the discussion had started. They all fell silent at that. Despite the girl looking nothing like her, they had all forgotten how Azuma had adopted little Haru three years ago, after the girl survived a break in at her home that had resulted in her entire family dying. Haru still kept her family surname, and continued to refer to Azuma as 'Tokaku-san', but there was no doubt that Azuma was a great adoptive mother, and Haru a lovely adoptive daughter.

"Whatever." Azuma said after the silence went on for a little too long. "I'll support you. We all will, right?" she glared at the rest of them, as if to coerce them into agreement. But there was no need. Chitaru knew that her co-workers were loyal friends, and would support her no matter what.

**…**

Four months later, after a long day split between court and work, Chitaru Namatame pushed a two-seated pram up to her front door.

"Hey, Sachika, Mami, look." She told the babies in the pram. "This is your new home. Our new home." The babies gurgled and laughed as she opened the door and wheeled them in.

_It seems that I did get lucky, after all. _


	2. Chitaru, Mami and Sachika

**To avoid confusion: This takes place almost seven years after the prologue, and in a way could be seen as 'set-up'. You'll understand why in due time. **

Chitaru rolled over and reached across to her bedside table to turn the alarm off. Then, she got up and went over to the window to pull the curtains, yawning as she did so.

"Ah, it's another sunny day." She mused as light streamed into the room. She paused to look out of the window, before yawning again and going to brush her teeth, before going into the girls' room.

"Sachika, Mami! It's time to get up." She pulled their curtains, letting light into the room. Sachika woke up straight away, but Mami didn't. Sachika started to make her bed, all the while looking over at Mami.

"Go brush your teeth, Sachika." Chitaru said, even though she knew there was no point. Sachika would wait for her sister until she woke up.

"Uuu…" Mami's eyes slowly opened. "Mama….I was having a nice dream….." she sat up, and rubbed her eyes. Chitaru held back a laugh. Mami really _wasn't_ a morning person. It would be interesting to see what she was like as an adolescent.

"I know that, Mami. But you have school today."

"Oh…I forgot." After a few moments of blinking dazedly, Mami also got out of bed, and then the girls went to brush their teeth, and Chitaru went to get changed.

She was just trying to tame her bed-hair when Sachika came in.

"Mama, can you tie my hair into those twisty buns?" she asked, brandishing her comb and a fistful of hairbands.

"Of course. What about Mami? Does she want her hair done?"

"She's doing it in ponytails, but I wanted it in twisty buns."

"Okeydokey then. Come sit on the bed." Sachika obliged, and Chitaru worked on her hair, marvelling at how silky and bright it was. Almost like a piece of the sky.

"Which hairbands did you want?" Chitaru asked, getting ready to tie up one side.

"I'm wearing_ purple_, Mama!" Sachika sounded as if Chitaru had asked her the silliest question. Chitaru smiled to herself.

"Of course, silly me. "

After that, it did not take very long for Chitaru to finish Sachika's hair, and after hugging her as a thanks, Sachika dashed out of the room to go find Mami, and then the two rushed down to get their bowls of cereal. Chitaru soon followed to make them cups of tea, and fix a slice of toast and cup of strong coffee for herself.

20 minutes later, all three of them were wrapped up and ready to go. Mami and Sachika went and sat in the back of the car, and Chitaru, naturally, went and sat in the driver's seat.

"What song do you want to play?" Chitaru asked, flicking through the CD collection.

"Mama, you _know_ what song! " Mami then sung a few lines of the song, and Sachika joined in.

"Okay, Okay. I shouldn't have asked. " Chitaru put the correct CD in. Sachika and Mami were both utterly obsessed with this mixed-gender band, which had started out as a YouTube group covering songs, but now had a few hits of their own. Even Chitaru knew some of the words to the song they had been listening to, and sang along with them as she drove along.

"Kimi da yo, kimi nandayo, oshiete kureta….kurayami mo owaru k-Oh, Mami, Sachika, we're here!" Chitaru stopped the CD, and parked the car, but the girls continued singing until they had all got out of the car.

"Okay then, Sachika, Mami. I'll see you later. "

"Yeah, bye-bye, Mama!" Sachika and Mami said in unison.

"Will you say hi to Tokaku-san and Isuke-san for us?" Mami asked.

"Of course I will. Quick hug?" They launched themselves at Chitaru, grinning, and then took off down the street. Chitaru stood and watched them until they could no longer be seen, and then she went into the police station for another day at work.

**…**

When she got into her office, and put her coat and bag down, she decided to remind herself of the schedule for the day. It turned out she had two appointments in her office, one over at the nearest courthouse, and then there was the department meeting. Not too bad a day, but she had a feeling Inukai would disagree with her, especially as they had the department meeting.

After checking her emails, she decided to go to the canteen and get herself another cup of coffee. As she passed the entrance, Azuma came in, looking very tired.

"Lieutenant. You're normally early." Chitaru commented. "Did you oversleep?"

Azuma glared as she made her way to Chitaru, but Chitaru didn't take it personally. Azuma was the type that needed her sleep. And when she said 'needed sleep' she meant '_really_ needed sleep'.

"We had to get Otoya sectioned again." Azuma said abruptly. Chitaru looked at her with sympathy.

"Talk to me about it. I'll get you a coffee." They walked to the canteen together, and Azuma explained.

"She's been stealing scissors and other sharp items from her workplace, and then we found out she hasn't been on her medication after she started raving about wanting to kill Haru, and Tatsuya, and me…when we confronted her about the stealing, she actually tried to attack Tatsuya….nothing too different to the other times she's relapsed, but a lot more violent, and bloodthirsty. " Azuma paused for breath, and then added. "For once, I'm glad that Haru's drama troupe requires so many residential school trips."

"It can't be helped, I guess. I suppose Tatsuya doesn't want her permanently institutionalised."

"Of course not. He still feels guilty for not having known about her in his childhood. That, and she does actually love Haru…I'm convinced that once she recovers, she's going to feel so bad."

"Well, Takechi isn't a bad person. Just incredibly troubled. She's done well to get to this point in the first place. Ah, here's your coffee."

"Thanks. Don't you think I know that?!"

"It's something worth repeating, Lieutenant. In any case, if you think Tatsuya wants someone to talk to, I'll set some time aside to make an appointment for him. Or I can give you the numbers of some counsellors who specialise in family issues."

"I'll think about it." Which was Azuma's way of saying 'thanks, but let's change the subject now.' So, they spent a few moments talking about Haru, and about Sachika and Mami. Inukai arrived, soon followed by Inoue and their forensic scientist friends Mika Takanashi and Ryou Watanabe. They all chatted for a few moments more before they went their separate days to start work.

**…**

"Ah, sorry!" Chitaru stepped back and held out a hand to help up the young woman she had bumped into. The woman smiled, and accepted the hand.

"It's OK; you seem like a nice person. And I'm in a bit of a rush, so I wasn't looking where I was going."

"I'm in a rush, too. Anyway, I'm glad you're not hurt. Have a good day!"

"You too, Miss!"

And so that is how Chitaru ended up smiling as she approached the courthouse. But it was just a fleeting encounter, and so she forgot about it soon after she met up with the bereaved family she was supporting.

**…**

"Oh. My. God. How can Kaiba talk THAT MUCH for SO LONG?!" Inukai complained when the department meeting ended at 7:30. Chitaru sympathised. Their chief really was something else completely.

"I've never been so tired listening to just one person talk. " Mika said. "But don't get me wrong, The Chief's pretty awesome."

"Takanashi, you've said that the last 3 times we've had department meetings." Azuma pointed out.

"Eheheh, is that so…?" Mika scratched her head absently, looking sheepish.

"Argh, let's get back to talking about me! I was going to re-do my nails today as well…but he took so long…"

"Inukai, your nails look fine." Chitaru said.

"Yes, but they've been the same colour for _three whole weeks_!"

Even Azuma laughed at that one. Inukai really could be a bit of a princess.

"Anyway, I should get going." Chitaru said when they had reached her car.

"Oh, you've got to pick up your twins, right?" Inoue said.

"Yeah. Mami and Sachika are at a neighbour's place, but it is getting late for them." In conversation, Chitaru never referred to her daughters as 'the girls'. She didn't want them to be lumped into one category just because they were twins.

"Gah, lucky you. We still have to go back after getting dinner." Ryou complained, jokingly.

"That's not my fault, that's the fraud department's fault." Chitaru said, smiling. "See you later."

"Bye!"

Chitaru drove off, turning on the radio and absently listening to the news until she reached her house. She parked the car in front of it, then walked up to the larger house at the very end of the road, and rang the bell the same way she had done many, many times throughout her life.

The door opened.

"Ah, Chitaru-Chan, you're back. Come in for a few moments, won't you? I gave Sacchan and Macchan their dinners. Beef ravioli. I hope you don't mind. "

"No, no, its fine, Suzu-san. They'll probably be going to bed a bit earlier. "

Chitaru smiled, and took off her shoes before going into the living room. She had known Suzu since she had been a little girl. Suzu had been elderly back then as well, but Chitaru counted her as one of her best friends, even now. And most people wouldn't believe Suzu was old as she actually was. There was no mistaking she had been on the earth for a long time, but she had aged well. And her vitality and spirit made her seem very youthful. In short, Chitaru treasured Suzu.

"I assume Sachika and Mami are upstairs. Did you get them to do their homework?"

"I managed to, yes. Sacchan was a bit more reluctant to, though. Some of it's 'not due for ages' according to her. I let them go and play with my old clothes now. Macchan in particular seems to like Meiji period dress." Suzu chuckled.

"That sounds about right. Mami loves clothes, and stories."

"Anyway, Chitaru-Chan, tell me about your day."

And so Chitaru did, for a little while. Then, she got up.

"I should really get Mami and Sachika now."

"Of course, let me go and get them." Suzu got up carefully and went to the staircase.

"Sacchan, Macchan! Your Mama's here!"

Almost immediately, Sachika and Mami came rushing down the stairs.

"MAMA!" they rushed at Chitaru, knocking the breath out of her. She laughed.

"You guys ready to go home now?"

"Yeah!" Sachika said. "Our bags are in the kitchen!" they went off to get them, and came back.

"Mami, what are you holding?"

Mami sheepishly held up a fancy but old-looking hair ribbon.

"It's so pretty!" she said, as if that was a defence.

"You can't just take things." Chitaru explained. "Put it back, please."

"Oh, it's fine. Let Macchan keep it." Suzu said.

Mami turned to her, wide-eyed.

"Can I? Really? Really really really and truly?!"

"Of course. I have no use for it, except letting the two of you play with it."

"Oh my gosh, yay! Thanks, Suzu! Mama, I'm wearing this in my hair tomorrow!"

"Okay. Thanks, Suzu-san."

"Not a problem." Suzu paused, as if changing gears in her mind, and then said. "So, you're picking up the girls tomorrow, right? So they won't need to come here, then?"

"That's right." But Chitaru could detect the loneliness behind Suzu's words. It was hard outliving most of your family members. So she added:

"But we'll come to yours for dinner, if that's OK?"

Suzu smiled gratefully.

"Of course it is. Now, you get home safely."

"Of course. Bye, Suzu-san."

"See you later, Suzu!" Sachika and Mami chorused.

The three of them walked the short distance home, and Sachika and Mami brushed their teeth and changed into nightclothes. Then, Chitaru read a story to the girls before they finally went to sleep. Then, Chitaru looked for last night's leftovers, and ate them in front of the television, before also brushing her teeth and changing, and then going to bed, falling asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow, looking forward to starting the whole process again in the morning and getting to spend another day with her girls.

**As an aside, can anyone guess the name of the band Sachika and Mami like?**


	3. The Bad News

Chitaru rolled over and reached across to her bedside table to turn the alarm off. Then, she got up and went over to the window to pull the curtains, yawning as she did so.

It was a cloudy day this time, almost making Chitaru want to pull the curtains closed again.

_Ah, Mami and Sachika will be disappointed. _ With that sobering thought, Chitaru shook off her tiredness and went to wake up her daughters.

"Sachika, Mami! It's time to get up." She pulled their curtains, letting light into the room. Sachika woke up straight away, but Mami didn't. Sachika started to make her bed, all the while looking over at Mami.

"Go brush your teeth, Sachika." Chitaru said, even though she knew there was no point. Sachika would wait for her sister until she woke up. Luckily for her, the waking up process didn't take that long.

"Uuu…nooo…lemme sleep….oh wait, we have the trip today!" Mami got up, and the three of them went to the bathroom to brush their teeth.

"Mama, you don't normally brush your teeth with us." Sachika said while she brushed her teeth.

"No, but I woke up earlier to wake you up, because of your school trip."

"Oh, okay."

Chitaru went to get changed, and so did the girls. Mami came to her when she had trouble putting in the hair ribbon she had received from Suzu the night before, and then they all went down to have breakfast together.

"I notice you're wearing similar styles today." Chitaru observed, looking at Sachika and Mami's almost identical half-up/half-down hairstyles.

"Well, yes, but I have the hair ribbon!" Mami said. "Silly Mama, they won't get us mixed up!"

"Well, I suppose you're right. No pranks, though!" The last time the girls had decided to wear similar hairstyles to school, they had done it to confuse their teachers and classmates. It was funny, looking back on it, but at the time, the incident had been very annoying. But children were children, after all.

"Don't worry Mama, we'll be good!" Mami said. "We don't want to get lost in the museum!"

"Yes. We'll be good, Mama!" Sachika agreed. Sincerity gleamed in the girls' dark eyes.

"Well, that's good."

As she had intended, Sachika and Mami burst into peals of laughter. Then, they got on with finishing their breakfasts.

20 minutes later, all three of them were wrapped up and ready to go. Mami and Sachika went and sat in the back of the car, and Chitaru, naturally, went and sat in the driver's seat.

"Okay, before we drive off, have you got everything? "

"YES!" the girls chorused in unison.

"Including your extra snacks, and money, and the list of everyone's phone numbers?"

"YES!" as extra proof, the girls took the items out of their schoolbags and waved them at Chitaru until she was satisfied. Then, they put everything back in their schoolbags and put on their seatbelts. Once Chitaru had put in the correct CD, they were off. And, as usual, they sang the whole way.

"Right, we're here." Chitaru said just as the final track finished.

"Huh? You drove us all the way to school?" Mami looked utterly confused.

"Yes, I did. You didn't notice?"

"No….."

Sachika looked just as baffled. Chitaru shook her head in amazement, and then got out of the car to let the girls out. Without prompting, they hugged her and ran off to join the gathering group of first graders. Just as they neared the group, Sachika turned back to wave. Chitaru held her hand up in response, and after watching them for a few moments, got back into the car to drive to work.

**…**

"Yo, Namatame, you're early today."

"Sachika and Mami have a school trip today."

"I see, I see. Well, that explains the two cups of coffee…and the giant chocolate milkshake?!"

"Oh, no, the milkshake's for my client. He's rather child-like, and happens to like milkshakes."

"Oh, I see. Well, see ya later, Namatame."

"You too, Natsuhara."

Chitaru went into her office, set down the cups, and put away her coat and bag. Then, she located her client's file, sat at her desk, and sipped at her coffee while waiting.

**…**

The pile of paperwork she had pulled out after her last appointment was half as small as it had been at the start when it occurred to Chitaru that she should probably get something to eat.

_Did I bring lunch with me today?_

A quick look through her bag confirmed that she had not. So, canteen it was then. She looked to see what time it was.

_Whoa, seriously, 2:30?! I really did lose track of time. Oh well, at least the canteen won't be crowded. _

The station was fairly quiet, but she knew that Azuma and the others had a case they were working on with the Theft and Robbery Division, so it didn't bother her too much. But it did bother her when she came out into the reception area and saw that there was nobody there at the reception.

Then she remembered who was on duty, and sighed. Myojo first had two receptionists. The first was a girl fresh out of school called Fuyuka, who had to earn extra money to help bring up her horde of younger siblings. She had an older sibling who was a construction worker, but their mother had died a few years back following the youngest sibling's birth. As a result, Fuyuka was a hard-working and motivated girl, despite only working for three days per week. The same could not be said for their other receptionist Mayuri, who seemed like a very spoilt and pampered girl. She made Inukai seem like a charity worker. Not that Inukai was bad, per se, just a bit of a diva. But Mayuri took the definition of diva and turned it into something else completely.

This explained why she wasn't at the reception. Chitaru looked to see if she'd left any little note to explain her absence. Naturally, she hadn't. She shrugged, and was about to go to the canteen when the phone rang.

She looked around to see if Mayuri would be back soon, but it didn't seem like it, so she picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Do you know if the victim counsellor is in?"

"Speaking. "

"Ah, good, good. There's been a bus accident on Uchida Street, and we have a lot of ….hysterical witnesses."

"Uchida Street? That's nearer to Myojo Third, isn't it? Why haven't you contacted the victim counsellor there?"

"The scale of the incident is…large. We need your help."

"Erm…can I ask who this is?"

"Officer Manabu Asahina."

"Okay, Officer Asahina, I'll be there soon."

"Thank you." The guy sounded grateful as he hung up, and so it occurred to Chitaru that he might have been a rookie officer. But of course, that wasn't the point. Right now, she had a job to do. That and she needed to make a mental note to herself to tell Chief Kaiba to find another receptionist.

**…**

Chitaru couldn't really see what had happened as she got out of the car, as there were a lot of people blocking the way. She did catch a glimpse of crime-scene tape and mangled metal, which told her enough. The sounds of people crying also told her a lot.

"Lieutenant, Inukai!" she caught sight of Azuma and Inukai, who appeared to be interviewing a shaky looking witness. They didn't hear her, so she began to inch forward, pulling out her ID card so she could flash it at anyone who questioned her presence.

After a couple of attempts, she managed to get their attention. They blinked for a moment, a bit confused. Then, their facial expressions changed into something completely different. Horror.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Azuma and Inukai conferred briefly, and then Inukai resumed talking to the witness while Azuma approached her.

"What's wrong?" Chitaru asked again.

"Why are you here?" Azuma asked, sounding almost angry. Chitaru suddenly had a very, very bad feeling.

"Erm….some officer called…said he needed a victim counsellor for the traumatised victims. Officer Manabu Asahina, his name was."

Azuma gritted her teeth, and didn't say anything for a moment. Then, she took a deep breath.

"We need to get you away from here."

"What, why? "

"We need to get you away from here. " Azuma looked around. "Dammit, where's Inoue when you need him?!"

"Azuma!" Azuma looked at Chitaru, surprised, and then her expression morphed into one of sadness.

"What's happened?" She asked, more quietly.

"That bus….it's a school bus." Azuma said.

"What." For a moment, everything seemed silent in Chitaru's mind as she tried to absorb what Azuma meant. A school bus. School. Bus. A. School. Bus. A school bus.

_No._

Chitaru turned, and tried to get a glance at the bus, pushing others to get through before Azuma managed to pull her back. But it didn't matter, for she had seen the lettering on the side of the bus.

_Kouga Elementary School. _

_Sachika. Mami. _

"Ugh, never mind. Namatame, we're going to the hospital now, okay? Inoue doesn't seem to be anywhere, so I'll take you instead. Is there someone you can call?"

"Suzu…Shuuto-san…." Chitaru said, feeling a little dazed.

"Do you know her number?" Chitaru rattled it off, and Azuma dialled it as they got into her car. Just before Azuma pressed 'dial', she turned to Chitaru.

"Nothing's been confirmed yet, Namatame. Nobody's died on the scene yet. "

Chitaru nodded, knowing that didn't mean anything.

**…**

"Suzu…-san?" Chitaru had been waiting with a group of other worried parents and relatives for so long that she was starting to get mixed up, thinking that she had to go home to be there for Sachika and Mami before remembering the reason for her being there. The agony was unbearable.

Suzu approached Chitaru, and took both of her hands in hers, the expression on her wise face incredibly sad. The identifications of the bodies had been done in groups at a time, and in the end, Chitaru had had to let Suzu do it for her. She wasn't sure she could face going in there. If she did, she was sure that all she'd see was the girls as they had been when she'd first seen them as abandoned babies in a trashed and blood-stained room. She just couldn't do it.

"They're there, Chitaru-Chan."

"B-both of them? Are you sure that both of them are there?" her voice shook, and she struggled to get it back under control.

"I am sure. I'm sorry; Chitaru-Chan. Sacchan and Macchan are dead."


	4. Bereavement Leave

_Inori Miyazono  
>Koutarou Aonuma<br>Saki Nakamura  
>Kouichi Tanaka<br>Shin Watanabe  
>Natsuya Sagae<br>Sachika Namatame  
>Mami Namatame<br>Eiri Miyazaki  
>Atsushi Takahashi<br>Keiko Takebuchi  
>Akihito Kudo<br>Jun Itsuki  
>Aya Suzuki<br>Mitsuru Satou_

The names of the dead children, arranged from youngest to oldest, swam around and around in Chitaru's head. There were still more, but they hadn't been named as their next of kin had yet to be informed. The two teacher chaperones had died as well, and as far as Chitaru knew, only the driver and three children had survived, although they weren't unscathed. Adding that to the other cars the irresponsible driver had crashed into, the whole affair was a tragedy.

And it was even more so because her daughters' names were on there. Suddenly, she was one of the people she counselled. But she couldn't exactly counsel herself, could she?

"If you need anything, do call me, okay?" Suzu had said when they had finally gone home the night before.

"I will." Chitaru had said. But she thought it might be better to go over and visit her personally. After all, Sachika and Mami had been like grand-daughters to her. Well, great-grand-daughters, but it was almost the same.

Now, she was putting off going into work, even though part of her wanted to go. With a sigh, she put away the newspaper, and then left the house.

Thankfully, she didn't bump into anyone when she arrived. Mayuri was back at the desk, but Chitaru didn't bother to attempt to be friendly to the girl. Part of her blamed Mayuri for what had happened, even though it was stupid for her to, and she didn't want to show that.

"Ah, Chitaru!"

"Chief?" Chitaru turned and looked at her cheerful superior. Who wasn't actually looking so cheerful.

"I was looking for you. I know you're an early starter, although I wasn't sure-anyway, anyway! We need to have a talk, Chitaru."

"Ok….in your office?"

"Yes, yes, this way!"

"I know where your office is." Chitaru said before she could control herself. Luckily, Kaiba didn't seem to hear.

"Okay, have a seat, Chitaru." She did, and then Kaiba sat at his desk.

"Now, how are you holding up? I didn't actually get the details until late last night, so I didn't know what had happened. I'm sorry for your loss."

"Thank you, Chief. I think I'm fine."

Kaiba tutted and wagged a finger at her.

"Now, now, Chitaru, do you know what the policy is when a staff member loses a member of their family?"

"Bereavement Leave, 2 months." As she said it, she started to understand what Kaiba was getting at. She did wish he'd get to the point though. His fondness for obscurity bordered on obsession.

"So, you shouldn't be here, Chitaru. The same does apply to you, even if you specialise in bereavement."

Chitaru tried to think of something to say. To be honest, hearing that came as a relief as well as a pain. But all that came out of her mouth was silence.

"Don't worry; we'll have Ritsu cover your appointments." Chitaru breathed a sigh of relief. Ritsu Yamane was a good psychologist, and all her clients had met them. At least that part of her life wouldn't be messed up.

"And, if you need it afterwards, you can take some extra months of paid leave. At present, you have…." Kaiba carried on wittering as he looked at his computer and typed in a few commands, then his eyes widened.

"Ooh, impressive, Chitaru. You have a year and a half of vacation days accumulated."

"I see. Thank you for telling me that." She sounded a little too stiff, but she wasn't sure she cared.

"Oh, and you know, you're not the only one on bereavement leave. Young Fuyuka's little brother was in the crash too."

"Fuyuka's?" she blinked. "Wait, what's her family name?"

"Sagae." Now she remembered. One of the other names had been 'Natsuya Sagae.'

"How much paid leave has she accumulated?"

"Now, I can't tell you that, but she does have less than you. She _is_ fairly new to the job."

"I know…." Chitaru thought. "Give her four months out of my leave." She decided. When Kaiba stared at her.

"She's going to need it, more than me. I have lots already."

"Ah, Chitaru. You're so kind, even at a time you should be utterly self-absorbed. Well, I will see what I can do!"

Normally, she could take Kaiba's ridiculousness, but today she found it grating, and she didn't want to snap, so she stood up quickly.

"I assume we're finished then. May I collect some paperwork before I go on leave?"

"Go on, go on!" Kaiba waved her out, and she had never been so glad to go.

**…**

She went to the fridge for the third time that hour and stared into it, not sure if she wanted to eat or not. In the end, she pulled out a left-over sandwich. She really should do some shopping-eating nothing but sandwiches for a week was one thing. The rest of the month, and even longer, was another. But of course, it would be a lonely experience.

She dumped the sandwiches on the plate after resolving to go to the shops the next day, and then went back to the living room to stare at yet another movie.

Then, her mobile phone rang. Without checking who it was, she answered the call.

"Namatame speaking."

"You have my number, don't you? Or have you forgotten who I am?"

Chitaru let out a short, sharp laugh.

"Inukai. Sorry, I didn't look at the screen."

"Humph. Anyway, we have some news. Azuma and I, that is. Can we come round?"

Chitaru sighed. "Might as well."

"Well, that's good to know." Inukai hung up, and Chitaru sighed again. She put down the phone, and started eating her sandwiches. She had finished three, and was about to start the fourth when Azuma and Inukai arrived.

"Namatame." Azuma said.

"Come in, come in. "she said, going through the motions of being a friendly host.

"You don't need to that." Azuma said, sharply. Then, her face softened. She wasn't the hugging type, but her expression was the equivalent of one. Inukai, however, gave her a critical look.

"When our investigation is over, I'm introducing you to the joys of retail therapy."

Chitaru rolled her eyes as they both sat down. She watched them, wondering what they had come to tell her.

"We've found the man responsible. " Azuma said.

"Huh?" It took her a moment to realise what she had said. "Wait, are you sure?"

"Yes. We actually got the man yesterday, but we spent the day cross-checking." Azuma explained.

"The guy's a slime bag; you'll be pleased to hear." Inukai said.

"Why would that be of any help?" Azuma snapped at Inukai, who just shrugged prettily. Chitaru just sat there, feeling like she was floating in space or some other isolated place. She didn't know how to feel.

"Hey, are you OK? You're spacing out." Inukai said. Chitaru blinked at her.

"I…I…erm…what's his name?"

"Moriaki Souta."

_Moriaki Souta. The man who took away the two most important things in my life._

Chitaru nodded.

"Also, the trial should be in a month's time, maybe a bit later." Inukai added.

"That's fast." The comment stopped her from brooding, although she knew she would do so later.

"Apparently, one of the children is from a really rich family-richer than mine- and that family pushed for this to happen. Said that the families deserved to be able to have the funeral as soon as possible." Inukai explained.

"I'm not sure why. The girl didn't die." Azuma said.

"But that's nice of them though." What an understatement. She hadn't even been able to think of a funeral. It was hard enough waking up to remember that Mami and Sachika were dead in the first place. But, she supposed the closure was needed. It was one of the things she always told her clients about. Closure.

"I suppose…." Azuma said, looking at Chitaru with concern. "Anyway, we won't bother you anymore for today. Sleep well. And follow your own advice."

"I'm trying." It was easier to say that than to explain the pointlessness of doing that.

"We'll walk ourselves out, Namatame." Inukai said. When they had, she went upstairs and went straight to bed with the name of her daughters' killer whirling around and around her head.

**…**

She found herself going into her daughters' bedroom that morning and pulling the curtains as normal. She only remembered her reality when she turned to tell them it was time to get up.

After a few moments of staring numbly at the empty beds, she walked downstairs and left the house, not bothering with breakfast or anything that would make her think or feel.

**…**

There was something familiar about the girl who was trying to decipher the bus routes diagram at the bus stop, but Chitaru couldn't figure out what it was. Instead, she conjured up a tired smile, and asked.

"Do you need help?"

The girl looked at her with a grateful expression as she fiddled nervously with a strand of pale mint-green hair.

"Are you familiar with QUEEN? The restaurant?" She asked. Chitaru thought, and then remembered that there was indeed a restaurant of that name, a few streets away from the courthouse she was now on her way to.

"It's Route 4. You get off at the fifth stop, not counting this one. I'm headed near there actually, but my destination's on a different route. There! That's your bus!"

The girl picked up her bag and ran to the bus.

"Thank you!" she called, before leaving. And despite everything, she found herself smiling, although she wasn't really sure why.

**…**

She met up with a few of the other parents on the courthouse steps, all of them working together to hide from (and maybe ward off) the journalists that were flocking. The anticipation mounted as they were scanned for security purposes and then led through, and then, finally, they were seated in the gallery.

_Moriaki Souta. You're not getting away with this. _

She was sure that the others around her were thinking the same thing. She just hoped that it would end up coming true.

**Not too much happened in this chapter, I know. Sorry. It will pick up, I promise!**


	5. Third Time's the Charm

**Here is where I point out I know nothing of court procedure. So, I know nothing of cour procedure, and so there will be many mistakes over the course of the next few chapters. **

Hitsugi Kirigaya had only just started using the courthouse steps as a destination to eat her lunch during her breaks when she saw the beautiful woman again. She had wondered if they'd meet again after that time a few weeks ago when she had helped her with the bus, and then that other time a couple of months before when they had collided into each other. But she didn't think it was possible, and had mostly put her out of her mind as she worked days and nights at the restaurant, and wandered around Myojo City to familiarise herself with the place. So it was almost like fate, after those other times. Except that those two times weren't so much meetings as they were coincidences.

Hitsugi wondered who that woman was, to be coming in and out of the courthouse so often. She wasn't always alone, for sometimes she was accompanied by a sweet looking old woman, and sometimes a group of crying women. And she herself looked sad, which was strange, because when they had collided into each other, she had seemed happy, and content.

_Maybe her world got shattered, much like yours. _

Maybe. It was possible. But she wouldn't know unless she got to know her, this beautiful woman who seemed so sad and yet radiated comfort. And she needed to get to know people if she was to really start living her own life. She needed good friends.

But first, she thought, as she got up and saw the beautiful woman return to the courthouse, she had to pull up the courage to go talk to her.

**…**

Chitaru didn't really understand why it was taking so long to come to some kind of verdict. Moriaki Souta was drunk, and high, and managed to plow through a school bus full of first graders in his bid to hide from the police. What was so complicated? Surely it was just a simple hit-and-run with added charges of drug possession and driving while intoxicated? Or something. She might have been in courts before, but there she was all about looking after the victims and/or their families. She had little understanding of legal processes beyond the few she needed to do her job right.

But that was of no real use now, since now she was the type of person she had always supported. And she didn't know how to adjust to that role. Like most of the parents, she carried a photograph of Sachika and Mami in the gallery of the courtroom, so that Moriaki Souta would realise that he had ruined actual lives. Sometimes, Suzu would accompany her so she wasn't alone. But she just found herself feeling uncomfortable in her skin.

_When will this be over? _She asked herself. And then, in the next breath, she wondered if she was talking about the trial, or the rest of her life. Because she knew the grief would never go away.

**…**

_Hmm? She's late today?_

Sure enough, the woman seemed to be only just arriving at the court when Hitsugi was eating her lunch. She was alone, but too far away for Hitsugi to ascertain her mood.

_Oh well. Maybe I'll be able to talk to her tomorrow._

Hitsugi hated feeling so shy, but she was sure she'd be over it soon. She continued to munch on her sandwich carefully when suddenly; the beautiful woman looked at her. And waved.

Hitsugi blinked for a moment before remembering herself and waving back. Afterwards, she couldn't stop smiling, even when her break ended and she was back at work.

**…**

"WHY CAN'T YOU JUST ADMIT IT?!"

Eiri Miyazaki's mother Aika had completely and utterly lost it, and was now standing up and screaming at Moriaki Souta (and his defence team). Her husband was trying to get her to calm down, while everyone else sat there, stunned.

"Can we have quiet in the courtroom, please?" The judge asked. Aika collapsed into loud sobs, but the other parents soon started joining in, and the entire thing turned to chaos. The only calm people there were Chitaru, Suzu, Fuyuka and her sister, Haruki. Fuyuka looked terrified.

Eventually, there was no other choice but to call a recess and they were all herded into a room to calm down.

"Look…" Chitaru said eventually "It's nearly over. From what I've heard, there'll be a verdict soon." There were no lawyers in the room, which meant she couldn't back her up. Luckily for her, Suzu talked to everyone in her typical old-lady way, so she was able to back her up.

"She is right." Suzu said. "It'll be over soon. We can't hold things up anymore. Not if you want closure."

The parents stared at her, and she felt herself go red. To cover it, she went over to Fuyuka and Haruki, who were standing to a side, almost forgotten. Chitaru felt for them. As siblings, they stood out in this group of parents and grandparents.

"Why are you so calm anyway? How can you be so calm in the presence of a monster?" Jun Itsuki's father asked.

"You haven't shed a single tear since this all started!" Kouichi Tanaka's mother accused.

_Oh, but I have. _In the privacy of her own home. She had shed enough tears to be able to make sure they didn't spill over in inappropriate places.

"I don't want the monster, as you call him, to see how he fe-"

"You think you're so prepared for all this, with your fancy Grief Counsellor job or whatever, don't you?" Kaede Ito's grandmother said bitterly.

"Now, now. " Suzu scolded. "If we all start fighting, won't that mean Souta's won?"

"He's won already!" Aika cried.

Chitaru shook her head.

"No, he hasn't. Not yet. "She wanted to believe that, and if getting the others to believe that would make things easier to bear, she'd do that. It was just this time it was a whole lot harder than the other times she'd had to do something like this.

"He _has_ won! Taking away our babies! Don't you _care_?!" Aika shrieked.

Chitaru was going to argue against that when Fuyuka beat her to it in a very uncharacteristic way.

"STOP IT! IF NATSUYA AND THE OTHERS COULD HEAR US THEY'D BE SO SCARED!" she screamed. HAVEN'T THEY BEEN SCARED ENOUGH?"

Everyone was stunned into silence as Fuyuka started crying again. Chitaru put her hands around the young receptionist, while Haruki ruffled her hair comfortingly. Chitaru could feel the weight of everyone staring at her, but avoided looking at them. The words thrown at her had been hurtful. She might not be a hysterical mess on the outside, but that didn't mean she wasn't in pain. After all, everyone had different ways of grieving.

"I think the girl's right." Saki Nakamura's father said eventually, looking incredibly tired. "Let's not fight anymore.

The other parents nodded. None of them offered an apology, but even though that stung, she found that it was understandable. For now, they still had a few more days of the trial to get through.

"Good, now that we've got that cleared up, do you think we can get back to business now?" Suzu asked pleasantly. Almost on cue, the door opened and one of the prosecution lawyers peered around.

"Are you ready to come back now?" he asked.

Jun Itsuki's father nodded, and spoke for them.

"We are. Let's get this over and done with."

**…**

_Well, what a day. _

Chitaru sighed. It had been an extremely long day in a string of long days. She found herself shuddering at the deep rooted resentment that the others had shown. And here she had thought they were all in this together. At least it was almost over, if her interpretations were correct. Most of the evidence, such as it was, had already been gone over. So it shouldn't take long. And there was no doubt that Moriaki Souta was a guilty man. Even if he was only sentenced based on the drink and drugs, that would be something. Not that the others would agree. It seemed as if they were out for blood.

She felt like discussing it with Suzu, but she had gone home early due to tiredness. Haruki and Fuyuka were too young, and they had gone in the opposite direction anyway.

_Ahh, they're right. This is all too much. Oh? Who's that? Oh, wait, it's the girl who I waved to this morning. The girl from the bus stop. _

"Hey. You having trouble figuring out the buses again?"

The girl's young face morphed from surprised to embarrassed to happy.

"No, it's the same one back. Thanks for helping me that time, anyway."

"Not a problem. Do you get lost often?"

"Well…I'm not that good with directions, but I've only been in Myojo City a few months. I moved from Aomori."

"Myojo's transport system _is_ a little special. But you get used to it. But I've been living here since I was a child."

"I see. Well, that's good to know. Wait, I didn't introduce myself the other times we met! I'm Hitsugi Kirigaya. Pleased to meet you!"

"Chitaru Namatame. Likewise." She couldn't help but notice how Hitsugi had stuttered over her surname, almost as if she hated it. She pushed the observation away for the time being.

"You said the other 'times' we met. I only remember the one. Forgive me for asking, but what was the other time?"

"You collided into me by accident, in the morning. It's OK though, really." Chitaru thought about it, and then remembered that the incident had happened the day before Sachika and Mami had died.

"Ah, I remember now."

They continued to chat as they got on the bus. Chitaru learnt that Hitsugi often ate lunch on the court steps, and had noticed that Chitaru came there often, and had wanted to talk to her but was too shy to. She also learnt that, at 36, Hitsugi was only five years younger than she was. Her explanation was 'stunted growth' that 'ran in the family', and that she'd come to Myojo to lead an independent life away from her family. Why, she didn't care to explain, but Chitaru didn't press as she knew family came in all shapes and sizes. In return, Chitaru explained about being brought up by her fencing teacher from the age of nine, her relationship with Suzu, and her job. She also made allusions to a recent loss, but didn't want to explain that it was her daughters that she had lost, not just yet. As nice as Hitsugi seemed, she was still essentially a stranger. And being a childless mother was a label she was uncomfortable with. Perhaps, when they were proper friends, she'd explain more.

_When?_

She blinked, and evaluated the thought. Yes, _when_ was fine. Why not? Why couldn't she make a new friend? There were no rules saying that being a bereaved mother forbade such things. So yes, _when_ they were proper friends, she would open up more.

**…**

They got off at the same bus-stop, as Hitsugi had some personal errands to run. They walked to the crossing at the end of the street together.

"So…" Hitsugi asked. "Does this mean we'll meet again?"

"Of course it will. I don't know when though."

"I know, you're at court all day. Maybe we could eat lunch together."

"On the court steps?"

"Yeah. If that's fine with you." Chitaru found the idea of eating lunch with this girl seemed like the best thing to ever happen to her, and so she agreed, and felt happy when Hitsugi face lit up. They exchanged phone numbers, and then parted ways.

"Bye, Chitaru-san. See you tomorrow."

"Likewise, Kirigaya."


	6. Verdict: Part 1

Chitaru looked at the sandwiches Hitsugi had brought with her for lunch. They looked ready made and somewhat lifeless when put next to her chicken wraps.

"Want to swap?"

"Oh, are you sure?"

"That doesn't look appetising." Chitaru said mildly.

"Well…I'm used to it, really. I'm working all day so I can find a better apartment. I don't really have time to make anything…"

"Here, take some of this." Chitaru broke off a bit of roll and gave it to Hitsugi, who smiled.

"Thank you!" in return, Hitsugi dug through her bag until she found a chocolate bar, and insisted on giving it to Chitaru.

They talked for a little while more until it was time for Hitsugi to return to work. She re-tied her hair into a ponytail and rushed off, and for no particular reason, Chitaru watched until she could no longer see her before going back into the courthouse.

**…**

One day, Chitaru turned up at court to find that Azuma's daughter Haru was waiting for her, accompanied by her blond friend.

"Tokaku-san said you've been on your own all these days, so Nio and I came to accompany you."

"Don't you have school?"

"Teacher training!" Haru explained, cheerfully.

"Well…I haven't been completely by myself. Suzu-san comes, sometimes. And there's Fuyuka, we support each other." _And there's someone else to add to that list. Potentially._

"You're not allowed to argue! Tokaku-san said!" Haru looked stubborn as she linked arms with Chitaru.

"Okay then. I suppose I can't argue with that." And she couldn't. Although it was in a way different to that with her daughters, she had seen Haru grow up, and indeed been part of that growing up. So she ended up nodding.

"So yeah, I guess you could come. "

"I KNEW you were going to say that!" Haru said, cheerfully. Then, she went serious.

"Hopefully it will be over soon. Then there's one less thing for you to be sad about."

_I don't think so. I still think I'll feel empty even after this is over. _But, of course, she didn't say that. Haru was only trying to be kind, after all. So she smiled, and then they went in.

**…**

There was also the small matter of making funeral arrangements for when the trial finally ended. Although there was still some unrest between her and the other parents, they had decided on a joint service. And that was when they met the rich woman who had put pressure on all the authorities so the trial didn't end up being a whole year later. Her name was Rikako Hanabusa, and she was married to Satoru Hanabusa, who was a big thing in the business world. She was nice to them, and very supportive, but she didn't reveal much. About all Chitaru knew about Hanabusa's motives was that her little girl had been one of the few survivors of the crash. She longed to find out more, but kept quiet out of respect. It didn't stop the other parents from bitterly gossiping about her, but Chitaru found she didn't really care now.

Because there was still normal life to get on with. Her house wouldn't clean itself. Her fridge wouldn't fill itself. She still had bills to pay, and she still needed to visit Suzu. So she did it. It was just not the same anymore. The little things about her normal life that she had taken for granted were now insurmountable tasks. Which was a normal reaction, and she knew it.

It didn't make things any less horrible though.

**…**

As the day of the verdict grew closer, Chitaru found herself unable to sleep. Sometimes, she would fix herself a snack. Other nights, she would watch recorded movies on her TV without taking anything in, or stare at the pages of a book as if she was actually reading. All too often, she found herself pulling out the photo albums and looking at all the pictures she had of Mami and Sachika-from when they were babies to the more recent pictures. Their seventh birthday was approaching, and she found herself thinking of all the snapshots that would never be. The memories that would never be made.

So, after one of these nights when she was brooding too much about their birthday, she decided to call Hitsugi.

"Chitaru-san, h-Oh, wow, it's late? Is something wrong? Are you OK?"

"I'm fine, Kirigaya. Really. I've probably woken you up."

"No, no, it doesn't matter. Something is wrong, isn't it? You've always looked sad, and now you sound even sadder."

"Do I? Have I?" Chitaru sighed. "Well…that's….I" she trailed off.

"I know you told me you lost someone. But if something else has happened…"

"Actually, I didn't tell you everything. As in, I didn't tell you _who_ I am grieving for."

"Really? I didn't notice." That made Chitaru chuckle bitterly.

"Kirigaya."

"Okay, okay, maybe I did notice. But I figured you'd tell me in your own time. "

_How trusting. You're so hopeful, Kirigaya, and so bright. I like that. _

"My daughters. " Chitaru blurted out, regretting it. Luckily, Hitsugi clocked.

"Oh my gosh, that's horrible. How old were they?"

"They would have turned seven next Thursday."

"Twins?"

"Yes."

"Oh, Chitaru-san…" she could practically feel the sympathy through her mobile phone.

"Their names were Sachika and Mami."

"What happened to them?" Hitsugi asked, softly.

"Bus accident. They were coming back from a school trip and this drunk-"

"Oh my gosh, that's the trial you've been attending, isn't it? The big case that's in the news?"

"One and the same."

"Oh wow. That's awful. I can't even imagine….I don't know what to say….and I was going about things as normal and not even realising…"

"You weren't to know, Kirigaya. It's OK."

"But all these weeks…."

"I like your company." And it was true. She did like her company. A lot.

"I-I-thank you." Chitaru could imagine Hitsugi blushing, and that brought a smile to her face, if only for a moment.

"Anyway, "Chitaru continued. "I won't keep you up any longer."

"Hehe, it's OK. Anyway, see you tomorrow."

Chitaru liked how she didn't turn the statement into a question. "Yeah. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

After Chitaru put down her mobile, she found herself feeling sleepy. So she gathered up the albums and went to her bedroom. She fell asleep soon after, and for the first time in a while-she stayed that way the entire night.

**…**

"Do you think you're ready for this?" Suzu asked Chitaru as they headed down the corridor to the courtroom. The day of the verdict had come, at last, and everyone was eagerly awaiting all hoped that Moriaki Souta would be proven guilty.

"As ready as I'll ever be."

Suzu smiled, sadly as they filed into the gallery. Chitaru exchanged looks with the other parents, and made sure that she was sitting with Fuyuka, who was on her own.

"Onee-san couldn't miss work anymore. She's kinda pissed that she had to miss this."

"Well, you'll be able to tell her about it, won't you?"

"Hmm…I guess..."

The closing statements passed by in a blur. Chitaru didn't even bother to try and understand them. She just wanted Moriaki Souta to be found guilty.

"Jury, have you come to a verdict?"

"We have."

_At last._

The courtroom went silent, even more silent that before, if such a thing was possible. Chitaru was sure that she was not the only one who leaned forward in her seat, looking at the juror who was speaking.

"We have voted –"

**Yes, I split this chapter in half purely to have a cliffhanger. My only defence is boredom. Also, I drew a picture of Sachika and Mami, and posted a photograph of it on my Tumblr. If you want to see it, there's a link to my Tumblr on my profile.**


	7. Verdict: Part 2

"We have voted…Guilty."

There was a moment where the words sunk in. Then, the courtroom erupted. Crying, laughter, chatter and the sounds of cameras flashing. All of it filled the courtroom with sound.

_At last._

Gesturing to Suzu and Fuyuka, she made her way to the back entrance. She didn't particularly want to be ambushed by news-hungry journalists. Things were over. She didn't see any need to rehash it all in a newspaper. So she made sure to evade as many people as possible so that she could get out safely.

"Chitaru-Chan….you have to slow down a bit. I am getting old, you know." Suzu said when they finally stopped.

"I'm sorry." Chitaru apologised.

"But, Shuuto-san, you don't look that old." Fuyuka said, loyally, causing Suzu to chuckle.

"Why thank you, Sagae-Chan. But trust me, I am. Now, I think I need to go back home for a nap."

"We'll go, then. Fuyuka, do you need to be driven back?"

"No, no. I think I might go over to Onee-Chan."

"Very well then."

After a few more words of farewell, they parted. Chitaru drove Suzu back to her house, and then went home.

**…**

Hitsugi was surprised to come out of work that evening to find Chitaru-san outside waiting for her. She had gone elsewhere for lunch as Chitaru had messaged her to say that she wouldn't be there, and so she had simply assumed that Chitaru had gone home to rest.

"Oh. Hi."

_Way to go, Hitsugi! Couldn't you think of something else to say?_

Chitaru didn't seem to care though. She offered up a watery smile, and said hi back. Then, she hesitated, as if she had something to say.

"He was sentenced today. 12 years, minimum." She said, eventually. Hitsugi blinked, and it took her a moment to realise what she was talking about.

"Oh. That's what you wanted, isn't it?"

"Something like that." _She seems really confused. And sad. But isn't that to be expected?_

On an impulse, Hitsugi reached out and hugged Chitaru. After a long, long moment, Chitaru's arms came up around her, completing the hug.

_It feels warm. _

After what seemed like forever, they let go of each other. Suddenly feeling embarrassed, Hitsugi concentrated on freeing her hair of the ponytail she hated so much.

"So.." she said when she put her hairband away "Do you want to do something?"

"Maybe…maybe a walk?"

"I don't mind."

It was a nice evening to be going for a walk. Clear skies, not too cold. There was a half-moon out, as well. Just little things, but they were nice, none the less. And Hitsugi had never really appreciated these things before. Maybe it was because she was with someone she-

_Woah, wait what? What, what, WHAT? I think I need to breathe. _

She felt herself go red, and she had to breathe in and out a few times to make herself calm down. Luckily, Chitaru didn't comment on it. Indeed, she didn't say anything, at all. Not that Hitsugi really minded. It was nice. And, in a way, the silence made her feel closer to Chitaru.

They walked until it was late, parting only when Chitaru started yawning. Chitaru offered to walk Hitsugi to her home, but she had refused. She didn't really want Chitaru to see where she was living-it was a bad area, and in any case it was only temporary. But it still made her feel a little guilty. She had too many secrets, all of them unshared. But she intended on changing that.

Because she was starting to fall for Chitaru Namatame.

**…**

It took Chitaru a moment to remember why she was feeling so heavy when she woke up that morning. Even though she had come home late from walking with Hitsugi, she had still woken up at the time she would on any other morning.

And then it came to her. It was Mami and Sachika's seventh birthday. And they weren't there to celebrate.

She got up, and went to brush her teeth. Then, she went straight downstairs, remembering what it had been like the morning of their previous birthday.

"_Mama, mama, can we go downstairs before changing? Please, please, please?" Sachika jumped up and down on the spot as she pleaded, while Mami backed her up silently and sleepily. _

"_Okay then. You can open one present each. Just one." Chitaru said, giving in as she knew she would. "You still have school today."_

"_Okay, Mama!" The girls sped down the stairs, and Chitaru followed them as they raced into the dining room._

"_Wow, that's lots of pressies! Sachika, which one are you opening?" Mami said, a lot more awake. Chitaru smiled. She hadn't really bought all that much, but each and every year, the girls acted as if she had bought out the entire shop. _

""_Hmmmm…..this one!" _

"_I'm picking this one, then!"_

_There was a moment of silence as the girls ripped the paper open. _

"_Ooh, it's that dress I saw at the shop!" Mami had finished unwrapping hers, and held it up. "Mama, can I wear it to school today?"_

"_It's too nice, don't you think? Why not save it for the party?"_

"_Hmmmm….." Mami clearly didn't agree. _

"_Oh wow, Mama, no way! It's so cute!" Sachika dangled the key-ring in front of her face, scrutinising it closely. _

"_I'm glad you like it. Now, if you get ready quickly, you can open the rest of the presents. And after school, Suzu-san has some things to give you."_

"_Thank you, Mama!" both girls giggled as they went to hug her, and then they rushed upstairs. Chitaru chuckled as she gathered the wrapping paper to throw away. She had a feeling Mami was going to wear her new dress to school anyway. _

Now, it was silent. Out of habit, Chitaru had put the presents she had bought well in advance on the table the day before. Now, she was the one who sat down and unwrapped them, but with no joy, because she knew what they were.

When she had finished, she regarded the spread of girly things on the table. She picked up the mini-kimono she had bought for Sachika, who couldn't stand long skirts.

_You could have worn this to this year's summer festival. _

Then, she examined the craft kit she had found for Mami.

_You could have made so many decorations, and you would have spent days trying to find the perfect places to put them. _

Chitaru sighed, and went about throwing away the wrapping paper and gathering up the presents to take upstairs. After much deliberation with herself, she decided to keep the things in the girls' room. It seemed only right. But she ended up keeping the mini-kimono. It would be the perfect thing to bury Sachika in. And after much rootling around, she found Mami's summer festival outfit, and decided that that's what Mami would be buried in.

_Fun times, huh? Deciding what outfits your children should wear at their own funerals. I need to forget life, for a moment. Just for a moment. _

And so, after changing, she set out to surprise Hitsugi at her workplace, the same way she had done the day before. She didn't know why, but going to see the girl (for that was how she continued to see her) felt completely natural. As if she were a second home, or something.

It was weird. But that didn't stop her from doing it.

**…**

The day of the funeral came so fast that it felt as if it had assaulted her. Her suit felt odd, as if it didn't fit, although factually, she knew it did. And when she looked in the mirror, she didn't recognise herself.

_I am a mother going to her daughters' funeral. _

She thought this over, and over, and over, trying to reconcile it. Even now, it didn't make a whole lot of sense to her. It felt almost as if it shouldn't be real. As if this was a nightmare.

But it was real. And now, she had to face it again.


	8. Funeral Blues

She was present at her daughters' funeral in body only. In her head, she was revisiting the other major funerals in her life.

_Chitaru was six years old and peering around the legs of the social worker who was looking after her, looking wide-eyed at the crying adults, not sure what's going on. Not sure why her mother and father are in boxes. People try to look at her, catch her eye, but she's never seen so many adults and so instead she ducks her head and continues to hide, her messy red hair doing a good job of tumbling into her eyes and obscuring her face. _

_Then, at sixteen, prim and proper in her high-school uniform, trying not to cry and failing as they mourn the loss of her bright and cheerful foster sister. She was taken too soon from them at the tender age of twenty-two, and Chitaru makes sure to not let go of her foster mother's hand. She doesn't want her to think that she'll be lost too._

_And when she herself turns twenty-two, she stands alone, again, bidding farewell to her foster mother, also taken by cancer. Like mother, like daughter. _

Now she is here, in the present day, a mother herself. But not anymore. Now, now she understands why disease took her foster mother so easily, even if it did take six years. Maybe, it will be the same for her. Maybe, six years from now, she would get knocked down in the middle of the street. She didn't think that there'd be anything wrong in that.

_No._

Unbidden, Hitsugi's face appeared in her mind, as if warding her away from such thoughts.

_Wait, what am I doing?!_

She sat up straight and tried to chase the thoughts from her mind. She took a discrete glance at the people she cared for, who were with her. Suzu. Azuma. Haru. Inukai. Inoue. Mika. Ryou. And then she found herself circling back to Hitsugi. She didn't know why. And trying to resist just made it worse.

So she gave in to it.

**…**

She only realised how many people had attended the funeral once they were at the wake, and she could barely see the walls of the reception room.

_All these people. For Sachika and Mami._

Well, not really. She knew that. It was a joint funeral, after all. But at the same time, it wasn't as if she was wrong. They were all there, for each other. Even if she was never really going to be able to get along with the other parents again.

She thought about this as she went up to the food table and looked for something to eat.

"Yo."

"Inukai, hello."

"You holding up okay?"

"I suppose so." Chitaru shrugged to convey that she wasn't sure what else to say.

"Good. " Inukai filled her plate and went away. Chitaru supressed a smile. She was glad that Inukai still felt able to be her normal self around her.

After picking some snacks out, she found a place to sit. She felt like she wanted to leave, but she knew it wasn't good form to leave before the so-called 'guests'. Even after the funerals she'd attended before, she didn't know what to call the attenders. _Guests_. What an understatement.

She ended up making small talk with some of these 'guests' as she made her way to an empty chair. Not all the interactions were awkward. Even after the other times, she still felt as if a room full of grief and resentment was something novel. Something she'd never understand. Eventually, she sat down, and chewed on her snacks absentmindedly.

"Erm…." Chitaru looked up at the thin voice, before realising that the speaker was a child. She looked down to see a pair of wide ice-blue eyes stare at her. Blinking, she made herself focus on the whole child.

"Erm, if you don't mind me asking, whose mummy are you?" the child, a girl, asked. She stared up bravely, and Chitaru noticed she was using crutches for balance. Instantly, she realised the little girl must have been a survivor of the bus accident.

_No, wait._

Chitaru noticed how pale she was, and how she looked incredibly tired-fatigued, almost. And there was something…off about the little girl's limbs, partially concealed by the long sleeves and skirt of her dress. She couldn't figure out what it was, though. So she decided to answer the question that the child had asked, and perhaps get around to asking some questions of her own later.

"Sachika and Mami Namatame. Did you know them?"

The little girl nodded.

"They were nice to me, even though I'm a new girl, and I can't run or play games like them."

Chitaru was about to ask what she meant, when an adult's calling distracted them both.

"Sumireko! Where did you go?"

"Here, Mummy!" Sumireko hobbled over to-

_Wait, Rikako Hanabusa? _

She watched Hanabusa as she picked up her little girl.

"Are you all right?"

"Yes, Mummy. I was talking to the nice lady. She's Mami-san and Sachika-san's mummy."

"Is that so?"

"Hmmm." Sumireko yawned, and a few seconds later fell asleep in Hanabusa's arms.

"Is she okay? It must be hard…losing all her friends." Chitaru said sympathetically. Hanabusa's eyes flashed in anger. Repressed anger.

"It's not just that. It's as if everyone begrudges the fact that she survived when barely anyone else didn't!" Rikako's face became bitter as she continued. "As if they know _anything_ about her, about how she's had to fight to live! About how she spent more of her life inside the hospital than outside."

Chitaru noticed how even with her obvious rage, Hanabusa was quiet, as if not wanting to wake up her little girl. She also seemed as if her unhappiness at her daughter's situation was something she had not really been able to talk about before, and now, a switch had been flipped.

"She's….sick?" Chitaru stood up. In response. Hanabusa tapped gently at one of Sumireko's arms.

"Well, yes. Not just that. She lost her arms, and one of her legs at a young age. She's been using prosthetics most of her life." Things started to fall into place for Chitaru, and she started to understand why Rikako Hanabusa had put so much into helping the grieving parents of the Uchida Street accident. The revelation filled her with sorrow.

"In which case, she's a very brave little girl. "

Hanabusa blinked. The bitterness faded away.

"Is that sincere?"

"Of course. She's lucky. And so are you. I wish I had been that lucky…but…yes, Sumireko's beautiful. I…I'm glad that not everyo-"Chitaru suddenly felt short of breath, and teary, and had to catch herself.

"I'm sorry, I have to go!"

And, not caring what anyone thought, she ran, and didn't stop.

**…**

As she blinked sleep from her eyes, it took her a moment to figure out where she was. When she stretched, and her arm hit the side of the bed, she realised that she was in Sachika and Mami's bedroom, sitting on the floor, leaning against Mami's bed. She was still in the suit she had worn to the funeral.

Her limbs ached as she stood up and tried to remember how long she had been asleep. All she could remember was talking to Rikako Hanabusa, and looking at her little girl, and thinking how special that little girl must be to have to have fought for her life so many times for no other reason than being born a bit weaker than other children.

_I wonder how well she knew my girls? It sounds as if they were friends. More to the point, what did I do? Did I get drunk?_

She thought about it. She could smell no alcohol on herself, and she didn't feel hung-over.

_But I might as well have been! _She thought as she caught sight of the clock and realised that she had slept for the rest of the day. Sighing, she went to the bathroom and cleaned up, before going back to her bedroom to change into something more comfortable.

She had finished changing, and was trying to decide if she was hungry or not when the doorbell rang.

"Coming!" she called out, tiredly as she went down the stairs and opened the door.

"Oh. Suzu-san." Pieces of memory fell in to place. "I was supposed to drive you back yesterday. I'm so, so sorry!"

"Ahh, don't you worry yourself over that, Chitaru-Chan. Your Lieutenant gave me a lift back. Besides you're unhappy enough as it is. So I made soup!"

Suzu held up a covered bowl, and Chitaru sighed as memories of all the other times Suzu had made her trademark soup washed over her.

"Thank you, Suzu-san. Come in."

Chitaru took the soup bowl from Suzu and put it on her kitchen table before joining Suzu in the living room.

"Did you end up staying long?"

"No, no. I left soon after you, actually."

"Oh." Chitaru felt herself go red with shame.

"Chitaru-Chan." Suzu reached over and enveloped Chitaru's young hands with her own, much older ones. She didn't say anything else. She didn't need to. For a long moment, they shared a comfortable silence. Then, Suzu spoke.

"I feel like you might have made a friend at some point recently."

Instantly, Chitaru pictured Hitsugi, and went red for completely different reasons. When they had first met, she hadn't anticipated just how close they'd be. Hitsugi was special, for sure. And having a friend was one thing, but a special friend…she just didn't know.

"I suppose I have…how did you even know?"

"Old ladies know everything, didn't you realise?" Chitaru stared at Suzu for a moment before they both chuckled.

"You're right…but…." Chitaru trailed off, becoming serious again. Suzu gave her a wise look.

"You're allowed to be happy, you know. You can be happy about having a friend while being sad about not having Sacchan and Macchan. It doesn't lessen either of those feelings."

Chitaru looked down, not wanting to cry, or reveal the tumultuous storm of feelings.. But Suzu seemed to realise that Chitaru was all over the place.

"It's true, you know. And it's remains true, no matter what your friendship with this person is like. "

Chitaru looked up, questioning Suzu silently. Suzu chuckled again, this time sorrowfully.

"Ah, Chitaru-Chan. I'm not poking for information. Well, not completely. But I know that once you've figured things out a little yourself, you'll come to me. You're not the defensive type. Just the type who waits to figure out what it is they're feeling themselves before telling anyone else. "

Feeling as if Suzu knew something she didn't, Chitaru found herself resorting to an Azuma-ism.

"I _know_ that."

Suzu flashed a grin that was surprisingly youthful.

"I _know_ you know that." She winked, and once again, Chitaru couldn't help but laugh.

"Do you want breakfast or something, Suzu-san? I haven't had mine yet?"

"You know what, I think I will."


	9. Call Me Hitsugi

"You look happy, Kirigaya."

Hitsugi smiled at her co-worker as she went past him to put down some dirty plates.

"I _am_, Mitsuyama-kun. "

"Ehhh, is that so? Why is that, may I ask?"

"Well. " Hitsugi went pink. "You can _ask_. I might not tell you."

"Auuu." Hitsugi laughed at Mitsuyama and disappeared into the kitchen. When she came back out, she joined Mitsuyama and one of their other co-workers, Yukiko.

"Kiri, Mitsu's been nagging me." Yukiko complained.

"For all of five minutes?"

"_Yes_. Put us out of our misery, please!"

Hitsugi shook her head and grinned.

"Fine. A friend's coming here after I end. She wants to have dinner here." That was the simple explanation. In reality, she hadn't seen or heard from Chitaru for almost two weeks. The last contact she'd made with her was a text to explain she wasn't well. So, when Chitaru had phoned her that morning and asked if it was okay to meet her at QUEEN, Hitsugi was very, very happy.

"You end soon, don't you?" Yukiko checked the time. "Two hours and a bit. Close enough."

"Aaaand it's quiet. Let's hope it stays that way." Mitsuyama grinned conspiratorially. Hitsugi smiled back, before Hitsugi caught sight of a new customer and went to serve them.

The two hours went by quickly, and before she knew it, Chitaru appeared in the doorway.

"Chitaru-san!" she called across the (thankfully) almost empty restaurant. Chitaru turned, surprised, and then smiled as she found a table.

"Damn, girl." Mitsuyama whispered conspiratorially. "If I swung that way…."

"Idiot." Hitsugi rolled her eyes at Mitsuyama, although she was smiling, too.

"Hey, Chitaru-san." She said, once she had reached her.

"Hello, Kirigaya." Chitaru greeted her politely.

"Yo, Kirigaya, hand over the name badge and apron." Mitsuyama had followed her, and Hitsugi jumped.

"Huh, what?"

"You're technically off shift, so sit yourself down."

"Well…if you're sure." Hitsugi took her apron off, and then her name badge, before giving them to Mitsuyama. Then, she undid her ponytail and shook her head free.

"Now, that's better. " He turned to Chitaru. "You can call me Tooru, and I'll be your waiter for tonight. If you give me a moment to put this away, I'll get your menus as soon as possible."

"Thank you."

They waited for Mitsuyama to go before deciding what to talk about.

"Tooru seems friendly." Chitaru observed.

"Yeah, I guess so. He's just the overly cheerful type. Friendly to everyone."

"That must make things easier."

"Well, most of the people on my shift are 's Yukiko-san and Kayano-san. The chefs are cool too…although Yamamoto-kun is a bit like a grumpy grizzly bear or something. "

Chitaru laughed.

"That sounds like my friend, Azuma. She's the lieutenant where I work. She's super-stoic, and seems boring, but she's actually loyal, fiercely so."

"Haha, no, Yamamoto-kun's just grizzly."

"Is it hard?"

"Well…it takes getting used to."

"Most things do." Chitaru seemed pensive, before seeming to visibly shake the feeling off.

"Yeah, I suppose so."

They fell silent as Mitsuyama came back.

"Ohh, what's this, were you talking about me?" he teased.

"Only a little!" Hitsugi protested, giggling.

"Only good things." Chitaru said.

Mitsuyama mock pouted. "Well, I'd hope so. Here are your menus."

"Can we order now?"

"Go for it."

With Hitsugi's knowledge, it didn't take long for them to find something to eat, and for Mitsuyama to depart with promises of bringing the food quickly. They chatted about light and trivial things until the food arrived, and then they fell silent, too busy tucking in.

"Do you want to try some?" Chitaru asked suddenly, holding out a forkful of her omurice.

"Sure. Hey, let's swap." Hitsugi carefully cut a bit of her pie, and they swapped.

"Ooo, this is good, Chitaru-san! You chose well!" Hitsugi said, surprising herself.

"And I thought _you_ worked here!" Chitaru teased. Hitsugi blinked, and then laughed, causing Chitaru to chuckle as well.

They were both giggling uncontrollably when Mitsuyama came to ask if they wanted dessert, but they both decided to anyway. And again, they shared.

They had a bit of an argument when deciding who would pay the bill at the end, but eventually, they decided to split it evenly, and they were back to laughing again.

"Ah, that was fun. I needed that." Chitaru said as she put on her coat. Hitsugi looked at her, confused, and Mitsuyama, who had overheard, also seemed confused. But then, she clocked what Chitaru meant and just smiled at her. She then turned to Mitsuyama and pulled a face, before waving to Yukiko and leaving.

"I didn't realise how late it was." Hitsugi said, looking up at the night sky that stretched over them.

"Are you tired?" Chitaru asked, concerned.

Hitsugi pretended to think, and then grinned.

"Nah!" Chitaru laughed.

"You're funny, you know, Kirigaya."

"Anything to help."

Chitaru smiled again, but this time it looked sorrowful.

"I like this…" she said. "You know, being like this. Then I have a chance to, well, not _forget,_ exactly, but I don't have to remember. What my life is now, I mean."

"Chitaru-san…" Hitsugi could feel the presence of two little girls, even though she had never met them, or even seen them. It was a heavy presence.

"Oh, no, no. I didn't mean it like that! I like your company. That's what I'm trying to say."

"It's okay, I know." Hitsugi tried to get rid of the heaviness. After all, she had her own ghosts weighing her down. One of someone she didn't even know, or remember. She couldn't really complain.

Besides, even if she did, Chitaru was completely and utterly worth it.

They walked slowly, and leisurely, as if they had all the time in the world. They didn't say much for a while, just commenting on the sky and shop displays.

"Kirigaya, do you want to come around tomorrow?" Chitaru asked suddenly, after they had admired a dress in a shop window.

"Huh?"

"To mine."

"But….I don't even know where you live." Hitsugi reminded her, blinking at the sudden topic change.

"Oh, right." Chitaru turned her face away, although Hitsugi could clearly see that she was going pink. Then, she turned back to face her.

"I can pick you up. Not really a problem."

"Hmmm…..okay." they arrived at the road where they would part ways, and they stopped walking. Hitsugi grinned up at Chitaru.

"Just, one thing."

Chitaru tilted her head questioningly.

"What is that one thing?"

"Call me by my name."

Chitaru regarded her for a moment, as if turning the name over and over in her head. Then she nodded with a sense of finality.

"Okay then. In that case, see you tomorrow…Hitsugi."


	10. Suprising, Continually so

"Oh, you didn't come inside today."

Chitaru shrugged as she made a mental note of the page she was on and closed her book.

"I didn't feel like it. Anyway, how was work today, Hitsugi?" Chitaru made an effort to use her name, even though the request had taken her by surprise the day before.

Now it was Hitsugi's turn to shrug, which was a spectacular feat given that she was untying her hair at the same time while they walked.

"It wasn't anything special. Although Mitsuyama-kun spent a good half hour asking me about you. I didn't reveal much, because he's just a nosy bastard, but he means well, you know. I just said that we'd met by accident, and that you were such a geek that you'd accumulated a whole year of paid leave, and now you were taking it."

"That's fine. I don't really mind." Chitaru knew what Hitsugi was getting at in pointing out that she hadn't said much, but she decided not to acknowledge it much. But she was grateful for the thought.

"I haven't actually planned any meals or anything like that. I hope you like the idea of raiding my cupboards and fridge and seeing what happens?"

"That actually sounds like fun? Do you do that often?"

"Well…not often, exactly, but sometimes after a long day, when Sachika and Mami had after school clubs and I'd had to stay longer at work, we'd do that. And my friend Inukai is notorious for not being able to plan meals."

"Cool! I want to do it. "

"Then, we will. I was thinking your standards might be high from spending all your time in QUEEN."

"Haha, that's funny, Chitaru-san. I'm only a waitress."

"Oh, is that so?" Chitaru teased. "I'd forgotten."

"Silly!" Hitsugi giggled, a pleasing sound.

"Oh, we're here."

"Oh my…wow!" Hitsugi looked wide-eyed at the front of Chitaru's house. "It's so big! You must be _so_ rich!"

"Actually, it's inherited." Chitaru explained as she took out her keys and opened the door. They slipped off their shoes, and went into the living room. Hitsugi was utterly entranced, and Chitaru allowed her a moment to gather herself. She remembered being pretty star struck herself, the first time she'd come to this house as a nine year old. When Azuma and Inukai had first come around they too had been stunned. So it wasn't new to her.

Eventually, Hitsugi started to pay attention to the photographs on the wall.

"Oh, is this you as a little girl?"

"Yes. I was in fifth grade."

"Wow. You were so adorable. Not that you aren't now." Hitsugi said, making Chitaru laugh. She oohed and aahed over the other photographs. Then, she reached a picture of Sachika and Mami.

"Your girls." It wasn't a question, but all the same Chitaru nodded her confirmation.

"They're pretty. And wow, they must have been tall for their age."

"Than-wait, what?" Chitaru was confused. She hadn't expected such a…mundane observation.

"They seem tall. They're what, five in that photo? I was _so _small as a five year old…"

"They're-I mean, they were- one of the shorter members of the class, actually."

"Oh, is that so? It must just be because I'm a midget, ha-ha." Hitsugi turned to smile at Chitaru. "Which is strange, because they look like you."

_What?_

"Hitsugi…they're adopted. I adopted them as babies."

Hitsugi just stared her blankly.

"Really?" She eventually said, incredulous, indicating that she genuinely thought that Mami and Sachika had looked like Chitaru.

"Yep."

"Wow….That doesn't even make sense…" almost on cue, Hitsugi's stomach rumbled. She looked down, surprised, and then looked back up at Chitaru.

"Well…what do you say to raiding the cupboards now?"

"I'd like that very much, Chitaru-san."

They left the living room and went into the kitchen to start raiding the cupboards, but Chitaru couldn't stop turning over Hitsugi's words in her mind. She had never been told that Sachika and Mami had looked like her before. She didn't know how she felt about it.

**…**

"I can help wash up." Hitsugi said after they had finished eating something that was tasty, if unidentifiable.

"No, you don't have to. You're a guest." Chitaru said.

"I want to, Chitaru-san." Hitsugi insisted, getting up to help. Chitaru started to protest, but then gave up, shrugging her shoulders.

They didn't say anything else as Chitaru washed up and Hitsugi dried the dishes they had used, but it was a comfortable sort of silence.

_Is this what having a proper family is like? _Hitsugi wondered, thinking of her own, broken _thing_ that was supposedly a family. Something she no longer had anything to do with, and rightfully so.

"What do you say to watching a movie?" Chitaru asked, jolting Hitsugi out of her reverie.

"Anything in mind?"

Chitaru shrugged with one shoulder.

"I was thinking we could just see whatever's on TV. Unless you want to browse through my DVD collection?"

"You have a DVD collection?"

"Yes. Unfortunately, most of them are children's movies."

"OOOOH! Do you have _The Lego Movie_?" She just _had_ to know, no matter how silly she sounded for it.

"Yes…" Chitaru seemed bemused. "Are you sure that's what you want to watch?"

"Oh, yes please."

Chitaru chuckled at that.

"Well then. Sachika and Mami would have liked you. "

"That's good to know." Hitsugi said, meaning it.

"Okay…let's go watch it then."

"Yay!" Hitsugi said, making Chitaru laugh again.

_I want to keep hearing the sound of that laughter. Forever and ever. _

**…**

Chitaru woke up and with a jolt of surprise, realised she was on the sofa.

_I really need to stop sleeping in odd places._

She noticed that her TV was still on, and pieced together the events of the evening before. Watching The Lego Movie with Hitsugi, who had laughed the entire way through, although she managed to stop to joke with Chitaru about various points of the film, and Chitaru thought through all these jokes as she picked up the remote to turn the TV off.

_Hold on a moment, Hitsugi?_

Chitaru turned slightly, and sure enough, Hitsugi was still sitting next to her, also asleep, and almost leaning on her. She smiled at the sight. She got up carefully so as to not disturb her, and looked for the blanket she had kept in the living room for whenever Mami and Sachika had stayed up late on occasions such as New Year's Eve. Once she found it, she draped it over Hitsugi's sleeping form, and then went to cook breakfast.

Sure enough, half an hour later, Hitsugi wandered into the kitchen, lured by the smell of food.

"Did I fall asleep?" Hitsugi said, rubbing her eyes and looking confused.

"Yes, but don't worry, I did too."

"Oh." For some reason, Hitsugi went a bit red at that. But then, her normal colour returned, and she sat at the kitchen table.

"I'm sorry, for taking up your time." She said, sounding a little bleary.

"No need to apologise. It's not as if I have a packed itinerary. Anyway, what about you? Don't you have work?"

"Er…" Hitsugi yawned, and looked around. "What's the time?"

Chitaru pointed at the clock briefly, before concentrating on her food.

"Oh. Okay. It's fine, I only have to be there for eleven. Plenty of time to go home and change. Maybe have a shower."

"In which case, you can stay and have breakfast." Chitaru put down a plate of fried eggs and bacon in front of Hitsugi. Then, she filled a plate of her own, and sat opposite to Hitsugi. Hitsugi took a while, but soon tucked in happily.

"Not a morning person, huh?" Chitaru said, somewhat wistfully. Hitsugi nodded half-heartedly, concentrating on her food. Chitaru supressed a chuckle. She was laughing a lot around Hitsugi, which was a good thing, but for someone who had never expected to laugh again, it was a bit scary. A welcome scary. Probably.

She mused on this while they ate, as Hitsugi didn't seem up to conversation. All that she could really figure out that she was feeling both happy and sad, all at the same time, but that she didn't feel entitled to have the happy, because it felt so…odd. But when she was feeling good, that's all she noticed. In the moment, it didn't matter.

_Maybe I should stop thinking, and see where everything takes me. Thinking too much doesn't seem to be doing me any good. _

And, somewhat ironically, after thinking about it, she decided that was the best thing to do.

**…**

Chitaru had offered to walk Hitsugi home, even though it was morning and therefore pointless. But Hitsugi had insisted that she would be fine, so she contented herself with seeing her out of her door.

"Well then. See you later, Chitaru-san."

"See you later, Hitsugi. I hope you had fun."

"Oh, I did." Hitsugi didn't turn to go, instead choosing to look intently at Chitaru. It lasted to the point that Chitaru was both curious and went pink.

Then, Hitsugi did something surprising. She leaned forward and kissed her. And not just briefly. Then, Chitaru surprised herself by responding in kind. When Hitsugi pulled away, all she could do was blink. Hitsugi smiled, and just like that, she left, the door swinging closed behind her.

Chitaru stared at the door for a long, long moment, lifting a hand to her lips. And it was in that gesture that she surprised herself twice more. The first surprise was how warm she now felt, right to her very core.

The second surprise was that no matter how hard she looked inside herself, she could find no traces of regret.


	11. I'd Like to Find Out

Hitsugi paced up and down her tiny bedroom as she dried her hair with a towel, wondering if she had really put her foot in things this time. If she had been too impulsive. But kissing Chitaru had been…perfect, for lack of a less mushier term.

_Didn't you say that the last time, and the time before, and the time before? _A little voice in her head told her as her exes popped in her head.

"But they're different!" Hitsugi said aloud, and instantly paused to mentally berate herself. Talking aloud to herself wasn't really the best course of action. But she had a point. They were different- deadbeat guys who hung around in the same circles as her godforsaken family. Chitaru was different, in every way that counted.

_W-wait. What does that even imply? _

Hitsugi stopped in her tracks again, and sighed. She stopped towelling her hair and threw the towel on the radiator rack, paying no attention to how it landed. She turned to the mirror to focus on tying up her damp hair. She had to head out to work. After that, she would make sure that her impulsivity hadn't ruined what she already had.

**…**

Chitaru was momentarily disoriented by the sight of the fluffy brown rabbit in Suzu's arms.

"Ah, I was just feeding the rabbits. Do you want to come in?"

"Yeah, sure. You got yourself a rabbit again? It's been a while since the last one." Chitaru thought back on all the years she'd known Suzu, of how she'd grown up playing with various rabbits.

"I actually have five this time." Suzu said as they walked to the conservatory at the back of her house.

"Five? Even for you, that's unusual."

"Well, I figured it would be more interesting than going down the crazy old cat lady route. You know, like a crazy old bunny lady."

Chitaru shook her head.

"Suzu-san, you're more than just an old lady, you know."

"Why thank you, Chitaru-Chan. Ah, here we go Nao! Back with your friends." They reached the conservatory, and Suzu knelt down to put the rabbit-Nao-back into the hutch.

"The rabbit's called Nao."

"Yes, and the other brown one is called Miki. I don't have names for the grey one, the white one or the black-and-white one. "

"Oh, erm…"

"I actually had an idea for two of the names."

"Which are?"

"Sacchan and Macchan."

"Ah." Chitaru blinked, and then sat down next to the hutch so she could look at the rabbits. "That's fine with me."

"At the very least, you should decide which ones are to be called Sacchan and Macchan."

"Ohh, okay." Chitaru looked, trying to see if the behaviour of the rabbits resembled either of her daughters. They didn't, not really, but she decided to just pick at random.

"This one's Sachika." She moved to pick up the grey one, but hesitated. Suzu nodded at her, and she held it carefully to her chest, feeling the soft little thing wriggle. She watched the bunny for a while, and then added. "The white one's Mami."

"Okay then." Suzu nodded, seemingly satisfied. They sat for a moment, silently petting the rabbits when Suzu spoke up again.

"So, what brings you here?"

Chitaru opened her mouth to tell Suzu what had happened that morning, but no words came. Instead, she just went red. Suzu looked at her questioningly, which didn't help.

"I…erm…." She faltered, feeling like a teenager. Suzu's eyes lit up, and she nodded.

"Ahh, I see."

"I didn't say anything!" Chitaru said, surprised.

"Are you sure?" Suzu pointed. It was then that Chitaru realised she had unconsciously brought her fingers to her lips.

"Oh. Right. Yes. Then I don't need to explain."

"I might need some background though, if I am to help you."

"Right…" Chitaru thought. "It was…unexpected, she kissed me first. But that didn't matter to me. I…I felt good. Like this is how things were supposed to happen, as if nothing was wrong with the world. I know that doesn't make sense, but I don't know how you'd go about describing these things. "

"No, no, you described it very well. And I think I know what's happening with you. "

Chitaru stroked the space between the Sacchan rabbit's ears.

"You do?" Suzu was either psychic or incredibly wise. Chitaru probably already knew which one it was, but it still managed to amaze her each time Suzu managed to figure out what she was thinking even when she didn't realise it.

"Yes, Chitaru-Chan. It'd be obvious to anyone." She smiled. "You're in love."

**…**

When the restaurant was quiet, Hitsugi checked her phone, and saw she had a new message. It was from Chitaru.

"_I went around to my neighbour, Suzu-san's place, and now I'm rather tired, so I'm going to bed. So see you tomorrow instead?"_

Hitsugi blinked. Not what she was expecting. If it wasn't for the fact that A: Chitaru always seemed sincere in what she said and did and B: had added the 'see you tomorrow' bit to the message, Hitsugi would have assumed Chitaru was avoiding her after the kiss.

But just in case, she sent a confirming reply, to make sure Chitaru wouldn't forget.

"_Sure thing, See ya tomorrow! ;)"_

**…**

Chitaru woke up, bleary and unsure of herself after dreaming about her daughters. She couldn't remember whether this dream was a sweet one, or a nightmare. Just that they were there.

_Mami, Sachika. Where are you now? It'd be nice if there was an afterlife, somewhere where you could play and be happy. _

She sighed, and got out of bed, heading straight downstairs and looking in her cupboards, only to find she had no cereal. She blinked for a moment, and then went to her other cupboards, and the fridge, methodically checking what else she didn't have. When she had composed a mental shopping list, she went upstairs to wash and change, and then headed out to the supermarket.

On the way there, she saw a few people she recognised-acquaintances- none of whom seemed to know what to say to her. But she didn't mind, because she didn't know what to say to them, either. Thankfully, she didn't have to deal with anyone once she'd got to the supermarket, so she just concentrated on getting what she needed. Methodically, robotically, alone.

"_Okay, can anyone spot the apples?" Chitaru said as they approached the fruit section." And also we need bananas, grapes and oranges."_

"_I'll find them, I'll find them!" Sachika said. _

"_No, I will!" Mami protested, running after her sister. _

"_Don't run or argue!" Chitaru reminded them, although it was useless as they had already focussed themselves on finding the fruits. _

"_Mama, is this a bananananaa?" Mami asked, holding up a bunch of bananas with both hands. _

"_Yes, that's a bunch of bananas. Put them in the trolley." Mami giggled and put the bananas in the trolley with all the seriousness of a four-year-old before rushing back to find the other things. Almost on cue, Sachika came brandishing a bag of grapes, put them in the trolley and ran back without bothering to ask Chitaru about them, confident in her abilities. _

_After they found the fruits, Chitaru moved onto the vegetables, and whiles she didn't let them find the items themselves this time, she had them pick out the biggest or the roundest of them , depending on the vegetable. _

_Then, they moved onto the frozen section._

"_Now," she asked. "Who wants ice-cream tonight?"_

"_ME!"_

Chitaru smiled at the memory for a moment, and then grew sad again. She rushed through the rest of her shopping, and got to the tills as soon as possible.

"Chitaru-san?"

She turned, and to her surprise, Hitsugi was waiting at the other checkout, taking items out of her shopping basket.

"Don't you have work today?" was the only thing she could think to ask. Hitsugi blinked, and then nodded.

"Yeah, but I ran out of supplies."

"But all you've bought is….err, hold on." The queue moved, and Chitaru paid for her goods, before putting them all in the bags she had brought with her. Then, she waited for Hitsugi, who came soon after, holding just one bag.

"What I was going to say is, you've just got snack food and ready meals?" Chitaru said, not missing a beat and surprising herself in the process. Hitsugi giggled nervously.

"I can't cook."

"Oh." Chitaru put her bags in the trolley and went to put it back in the trolley bay. Hitsugi followed.

"I could teach you, if you wanted." Chitaru said. "To cook, that is. I need something to fill my days."

_Because I can't help people in the way I used to. I try to focus on their losses but all I see are my own. _

"That would be good." Hitsugi paused. She looked thoughtful.

"is something wrong?" Chitaru asked. Hitsugi went bright red in response. Chitaru was confused, but then she clocked what Hitsugi was thinking about. She went pink as well, but then gathered herself. Not sure what it is she should say, she reached out to ruffle Hitsugi's hair. And then she smiled. Hitsugi blinked, and then reached up to take Chitaru's hand in her much more child-like ones. She removed Chitaru's hand from her head, but didn't let go. They stood like that for a moment, and then they both laughed.

"Look at us, what are we like, honestly?" Hitsugi giggled. Chitaru laughed too.

"I honestly don't know…but I'd like to find out."

Hitsugi regarded her.

"You mean….?"

"Yeah." Chitaru wasn't sure what to say, but she thought she had conveyed it well enough. And when Hitsugi smiled, she knew that she had.

"Okay, so…I'll see you tonight?"

"Of course."

"Yay!" Hitsugi kissed Chitaru on the cheek, picked up her bag, and then rushed off, and all Chitaru could do was smile because somehow, irrationally so, she was just really_ happy_.


End file.
